While prepping for my weekend errands, I stopped and realized the internal dialogue that was running through my head.

We need bread and meat, so we’ll stop at that one store with the good butcher and the bread we like. However, other things are more expensive there, so we’ll swing by the store on our corner after to get everything else on the list. That first store has ramps in and wide aisles, so we can put the baby in the stroller, and they have carts we can put the toddler in. But the stroller does not fit easily in that second store, so one parent will stay in the car while the other runs in. Let’s also plan on eating dinner out tonight, so we can pop into that other store after to grab any final things left on the list. Oh, and they have that cheaper brand of diapers, so we can get those there too. And of course, I’ll do the produce order for delivery on Monday morning as well.

Now that we’ve lived abroad for almost five years, this kind of mental gymnastics is second nature to me. But, it was not too long ago when figuring out the logistics of grocery shopping was almost too much to fathom, let alone follow through and accomplish.

I remember our first few days in country, eating peanut butter toast and bananas. Our colleagues had stocked our kitchen with these familiar items, but everything tasted slightly different. I remember venturing out to the store for the first time and being so overwhelmed by the sheer volume of unknown packaging, brands, and general unfamiliarity of the items I was looking at. I would walk the aisles with Google translate open on my phone, entering phrases in various European languages to confirm if the imported item in the unfamiliar packaging was, indeed, baking powder.

For those next few months living overseas, grocery shopping felt like a heavy burden I carried around. Everything about the experience felt unnecessarily complicated or inefficient, and there were so many cultural cues that I didn’t recognize. But at the same time, it was a necessity—so, I had to figure it out. (Don't even get me started on the steep learning curve of actually cooking those groceries when I got home!)

It’s worth taking a minute to realize how far we’ve come in these everyday tasks. While the situation itself is constantly changing for me (like stores closing and supply of items being inconsistent), I grew in my knowledge, awareness, and capability of how to navigate the situation.

I’m not sure the exact term for this somewhat hidden wealth of knowledge about how to do basic tasks of life in my host culture—maybe cultural competency will work? When you first move to a new country, you assume you’ll have to learn the language, or at least enough to be polite. You know you’ll have to learn the etiquette of the culture so that you can be respectful. You might not realize you have to learn an entirely new way of grocery shopping, paying for electricity, or seeking medical care in an emergency. These differences of doing life come hard and fast in the first stretch of living in a new country and can truly knock you off your feet early on. But over time, you learn and you adjust and you develop the knowledge and skill sets that help you thrive where you live.

So, here is my encouragement and my challenge to you: take a minute to stop and take stock.

If you are new to living overseas:

What ordinary life things are feeling particularly overwhelming to you right now? Make a list if that would help, and know that feeling that way is so valid. Realizing little things are difficult that were never difficult in your life brings up lots of different feelings! Take encouragement that one day it won’t feel so daunting. You will know how to navigate those things. That list you just made is worth holding onto so you can pull it back out to see just how far you’ve come.

If you are a few years in:

What are the things that come second nature to you now that you realize used to be overwhelming? What are you able to do almost without thinking that used to be a burden of stress for you? Is it navigating groceries and other errands, like me? Successfully dodging 87 motorcycles on one short drive? Memorizing the codes to pay for something with mobile money through your phone? Something else? List those things out and celebrate!

If you have recently changed countries or repatriated:

What are those things that you used to do in your previous host country that is no longer applicable in your new circumstance? What do the new people you are meeting not realize about what you know how to do, because it’s no longer relevant? Make a list of those skills and take some time to grieve. These hard-won cultural competencies are one of the things you lose when you leave (just like you left behind your house and your friends who were like family and your favorite local snack) and it’s a loss worth grieving.

This life is not always easy, but it is rich with opportunities to learn and grow. We’re cheering you on as you persevere in building that new skill set!

What is the a skill you’ve learned that is only relevant in your host culture? Share it with us in the comments below!