Have Children, Will Travel: Getting Over Your Fears of Traveling with Littles
Most of the time, that is how you're going to feel after you travel with your kids. Some moments might be exhausting. Some moments might make you want to call it quits. But those moments will pale in comparison to the memories you've made with your children.
I debated about whether or not to write this post, realizing that I might very well be preaching to the choir. Obviously, if you're an expat with children, you're familiar with frequent travel. But then, I didn't want to make any assumptions. Sometimes, when children enter the picture (and especially when the children start outnumbering the adults) we get a little apprehensive about herding all those little people through busy airports, checkpoints, layovers, narrow aisles on the planes, in and out of taxis, so on and so forth. We think about taking family vacations but immediately write it off as "more trouble than it's worth" when we realize it requires an international flight longer than one hour.
Remember when you were a kid and you knew you were about to go to the doctor after school and get a shot? Or maybe you knew a dentist appointment awaited you at 3 p.m. to get cavities filled. You dreaded it the whole day and built it up to be really awful in your mind. But then, after everything was said and done, you thought to yourself, "that wasn't so bad after all."
Most of the time, that is how you're going to feel after you travel with your kids. Some moments might be exhausting. Some moments might make you want to call it quits. But those moments will pale in comparison to the memories you've made with your children.
So, let's talk about five stumbling blocks that tend to keep us from traveling when we have small children. Then we'll put each stumbling block in perspective with a reality check.
1. "They're too young. They won't remember it anyway."
Reality Check: Who cares? Carpe diem! No, they probably won't remember every detail (if any details), but you will. You can share the stories as your kids enjoy looking through the photos that you took of them in the baby carrier while Mom was walking on the Great Wall. They'll "ooh" and "aah" over the pictures of them sitting on Dad's shoulders in front of the Eiffel Tower. They won't remember meeting Mickey Mouse at Disneyland in Hong Kong but they will giggle with delight when you show them the pictures. Who knows... if Instagram and hashtags are still popular ten years from now, your kids might even showcase those photos you took of them for #ThrowbackThursday. They won't appreciate all of your hard work and exhaustion in the moment, but they'll thank you later for giving them such a fun childhood to relive via documented memories. Speaking of documentation, even though camera phones and photo apps like Instagram are convenient, don't just leave the photos in digital format. Print those photos out so others can see. Here are some of my favorite things to do with my photos:
Print them out using a service that connects directly to your Instagram account. If you don’t use social media, you can upload directly from the photos on your phone.
Start a Project Life binder. I am not a scrapbooker. However, I like the idea of writing down little tidbits of info alongside my photos. Just purchase a binder, some plastic sleeves with pockets, and a kit of their pre-cut cards that fit perfectly into the pockets. Print out your photos, cut to the size you want, and slide those into the pockets as well. No mess. No glue. So simple even an anti-scrapbooker can do it.
Make a photo book using Shutterfly, Parabo Press, or Artifact Uprising.
2. "What if the kids don't want to nap?....What if all my hard work potty-training backfires?....What if the baby has a poop explosion on the plane while flying over the Atlantic ocean??...What if they get sick during vacation?...What if....What if...WHAT IF??"
Reality Check: This is where I slap your face and say, "stop it." You will drive yourself crazy and scare yourself stiff thinking of all the scenarios of things that could go wrong. Spoiler alert: things probably will go wrong. There will be some rough patches during your travels and meltdowns during your vacation. The sooner you accept that, the sooner you can readjust your expectations and start having fun.
3. "I have a sprinter who acts like he's breaking out of jail every time I let go of his hand. Go through security checks and immigration lines? No thank you."
Reality Check: Divide and conquer. One adult takes the passports and visa stuff, one adult is put in charge of the kids. If you are in an immigration line that makes the parents split up, divide the kids up. When in doubt, strap them in a stroller. If they scream, maybe the immigration officers will rush you through the quick line. I've never heard of a child being tazed for crossing the line before their turn during a security check.
4. "All that luggage..."
Reality Check: The bulk of your luggage gets dropped off when you check-in and then you don't see it or have to worry about it until you're at your final destination. If, by chance, you have to retrieve it and recheck during one of your layovers, it's still not that much of a hassle. I don't know of any airport that doesn't have trolleys to help move a bulk of luggage from point A to point B.
Also, don't underestimate the ability of your tiny children to carry their own weight. My son started wearing a backpack when he was two-years-old and he started pulling his own suitcase when he turned three. He actually enjoys getting to pull his own suitcase like Mommy and Daddy and he doesn't like it when I try to pick it up and carry it myself. I typically use his suitcase as the carry-on and pack it with stuff for all of us (but not packed so much that it's too heavy for him to pull, obviously).
5. "I'm terrified of being trapped in an airplane with my (potentially cranky) kids on an international flight."
Reality Check: Get on the plane anyway. Yes, your baby may scream because she doesn't understand why her ears are hurting. Your toddler might insist on kicking the chair of the person in front of him. A sibling argument might strike when you least expect it. All of these things might stress you out more than usual because you have nowhere to take the screaming baby and nowhere to take your toddler during his temper tantrum.
These are all things that babies and kids do. It's normal. Don't feel like you have to buy a gift bag for everyone sitting near you because your children might disturb their peace (welcome to my life, folks). There's a high probability the other passengers don't even care because they're wearing noise-canceling headphones. If there's a disgruntled passenger rolling his eyes, don't feel sorry for him. When he gets off the plane, he'll get a blissful, uninterrupted night of sleep when everything is said and done.
Just remember... when you're knee-deep in crayons that have been tossed on the floor...when you're tangled up in headphone cords...when your arm is numb from holding the baby and your neck is stiff because your toddler insisted on using your neck pillow to sleep... this too shall pass.
It might be 13 hours from now, but it will pass.
It all boils down to knowing your limits, embracing the messy, expecting a little bit of chaos, and making the effort to take your children on adventures, no matter how big or how small.
P.S. If you enjoyed this post, then you might like to check out our post about Common Mistakes Made When Flying with Infants.
What are some of your tips for traveling with small children? Please feel free to share in the comment section! We love hearing advice from fellow frequent-flyers.
