12 Reasons My Home Will Never be Featured on HGTV

I like pretty things as much as the next gal.   I think I've good taste when it comes to paint colors and fabric patterns...not that you could tell from my house.  I scan Instagram and look at gorgeous homes...even the homes of other expats.  I don't know what filter they're using, but I need it.  My house is not winning any international decorating awards.  Guys, I'm talking my issues lie way past  the discoloration on the tiles from our well water or the dirt that won't come off the concrete walls.  Our concrete walls literally turn to dust when I try to hang anything.  Don't get me wrong.  I have a great house.  It has tons of windows for natural light and breeze.  It's safe and comfortable for our large family.  BUT when I put on my western goggles, a few things start to stick out.  Let's take a look around.  1.  It’s hot on the equator and these little fans are all around the house.  They ain’t pretty and they make the arrangement of decorative items tricky.   Especially, when random wires stick out of the wall.2.   Check out my laundry room.  Drainage for the washing machine, small minor detail forgotten.3.   Speaking of drainage issues.  Here is our supply cabinet on our COVERED back area.   There used to be doors to the cabinet, wood rot.4.   And then there is the leak that we just had repaired and painted…one month ago. Up Next: Simple solutions to your every day problems.5.   You want to hang something up on the wall. No problem. Easy-peasy.6.   An outlet to plug your stove in. Done! Don't worry about the electric shock when you turn it on.7.   You want a sink in the bathroom. Boom! Mic drop.Now a little decorating with the help from my six little blessings.8.   I can say that I lucked out and had kids who haven’t made a real habit of writing on the walls, 'cause markers are sooo yesterday. Screwdrivers are where the fun is. (Let’s not talk about the hideous paint color that our homeowners picked out.)9.   The paint literally peals off the walls when anything is stuck to it.   Pretend a child put their chewing gum on the wall.  Just saying, "if" they did.  I think Singapore is onto something.  Let’s make this an even 12 with a little help from the rats.10.  Just when you thought a squatty potty couldn’t get uglier, throw in a big rock to keep the rats out.11.  Crown molding. So luxurious you say? A rat thought it was delicious.  Seriously? How is this possible?12.  These nasty rodents love to climb up onto the house and enter into our kitchen via this little window. Jokes on you, Ratatouille. #ProblemSolvedDoes anyone know Chip and Joanna?  Driving through Waco anytime soon?  Can you stop in and ask them to come visit me?  Thanks!   What about you?  What does your international home really look like?  Show us the quirks  on Instagram using the hashtag #takingroute!  Or just tell them about it in the comments section.