11 Ideas for Scheduling Margin in Your Expat Life
I know not all of these will work for everyone's particular situation, but it’s good to at least be mindful that hosting, traveling, etc. are extra taxing overseas. (And they’re extra-extra taxing in many of the places Taking Route readers live!) So, be sure to schedule in margin to keep burnout at bay.
I don’t know about you, but I feel like I don't have to be very intentional about scheduling margin when I’m in the U.S. In China, though, I have to literally write it in my calendar to remind me not to pack things in. We all know that living overseas can be much more draining and time consuming than life in our passport countries. There's "No Such Thing as a Simple Errand," right? Yet it’s hard to remember that we need lots of margin if we want to stay healthy and sane. If you’re like me, here are some ideas for making sure you’ve got buffer between the gazillion other things going on in overseas life.
1. Assume something will go wrong today.
This isn’t being pessimistic. It’s being realistic. When the power goes out right when you’re cooking dinner, you can say, “Ah ha! This is the thing that was going to go wrong today!” instead of getting super cranky about it. Well, that’s how this works in theory, at least.
2. Take a 24-hour Sabbath
I know many families who were really good about taking a full 24-hour Sabbath rest each week. It's wasn't necessarily on Sundays. A couple people had their busiest days on Saturday and Sunday, so they’d take Monday as a day of rest. Taking a day of rest each weekend sure helps get everyone recharged for the coming week. Even if you’re not successful all the time in doing this, having a day blocked off on the calendar will give you pause before you agree to schedule something that day.
3. Schedule trip recovery days
Keep two days clear on the calendar after a trip for laundry, unpacking, and mental recovery. You may have to dive into work or school right after getting back from a trip, but at least try to keep the evenings clear for trip recovery.
4. Delegate food when you host
Prepping your house for hosting a gathering takes time, usually more time than it would in your home country. Realize that if you’re also cooking for the gathering, it might be too much. Order food, ask friends to pitch in with certain dishes, or make it a potluck.
5. Cave time
After big gatherings when you’re interacting with lots of people, schedule “cave time” at home. This is when each person in the family gets to have quiet, alone time to read, nap, zone out, etc. This was really hard for me to understand as an extrovert, but you can read "How Living Overseas Drained the Extrovert Out of Me" to find out what changed.
6. Double or triple your estimate
Whenever you have an out of the ordinary task, like fixing a broken appliance, getting bank paperwork handled, or placing a special order with the butcher, first guess how much time it should take, then double or triple your estimate. This ties in to #1 – you’re assuming something will go wrong in the process. And if everything goes really quickly and smoohtly, and things get finished early, you’re not going to be upset having extra time, right?
7. Be realistic about what "cooking" means
Remember to include shopping, prep, and clean up time in addition to cooking time, especially if you’re cooking for guests. It will all take longer than your normal meals do.
8. Schedule a “departure tea” before every trip
I learned this from a friend who had spent time in Russia, and I love it! When you're about to travel, give yourself a fake departure time that’s about ten minutes before you actually need to get out the door. Then, with all the bags packed and waiting at the door, everyone’s shoes on, and the house ready to be locked up, sit down and have a quiet, calm cup of tea. Just sit and sip your tea. Ahhhh! So relaxing.
While you’re sitting and sipping, something may spring to mind, like “did we remember to pack chargers for all the phones?” It’s better to realize that in your own living room than on the bus out to the airport. Rushing out the door in a whirlwind seems to be our family’s natural M.O. which generally leads to forgetting things. Departure tea has really helped with that.
Just FYI, we don’t actually drink any tea because I don’t want to deal with dirty mugs just as we’re walking out the door! But, the idea of stopping to be calm and quiet for a few minutes before leaving is a great one.
9. Set a limit to events and guests
For whatever reason, life overseas seems to come with a constant avalanche of special things to add to the calendar. But, it’s exhausting to have overnight guests on Monday, then volunteering at the medical clinic on Tuesday, then hosting a lunch on Wednesday, then judging an English contest on Thursday, then a visa run Friday and Saturday, then more guests coming in Saturday night. Rinse and repeat. Try to set a reasonable limit for yourself of how many special events and guests you can handle in a week. All of those things take mental effort as well as time and physical effort, and you are a limited being.
10. Underschedule after overscheduling
We all have periods of extra busy times, but then we need periods of under-busy times to recover. If you’ve got a week or two of nonstop events, underschedule the following week or two on your calendar.
11. Take that sick day!
Living overseas also seems to mean more frequent illness. Be kind to yourself and take sick days when you need to. No one admires you for pushing through because it means you just brought your load of germs to the meeting. :) Rest and recuperate properly.
I know not all of these will work for everyone's particular situation, but it’s good to at least be mindful that hosting, traveling, etc. are extra taxing overseas. (And they’re extra-extra taxing in many of the places Taking Route readers live!) So, be sure to schedule in margin to keep burnout at bay.
As always, we feel that YOU are the greatest resource for sharing ideas. If you’ve got a method of scheduling margin and rest that has worked for you, please add it to the comments. We'd love to hear what's helped you.
What are some of your tips for adding margin in your life? Is this something you even do?
