Staying Healthy Overseas: Emotional and Mental Wellness
“It is easy to get burnt out while living overseas. I know that, you know that, but are we doing enough to make sure we don’t get burnt out? The answer for me is almost always “no.” By the time I am are boarding the plane for a vacation, I can’t stand being in this country for one more minute.”
Don't miss Part I "8 Ideas for the Mom" and Part II, "6 Easy Diet Adjustments" of this series.
It is easy to get burnt out while living overseas. I know that, you know that, but are we doing enough to make sure we don’t get burnt out? The answer for me is almost always “no.”
By the time I am are boarding the plane for a vacation, I can’t stand being in this country for one more minute. The check-in attendant at the airport had better watch out if they mess up our seats. I have never left my host country without yelling at a few airport security staff for counting my money and combing through all of my personal belongings. This is the sad truth for me, and it seems to get worse and worse each year. This article is not really a guide on “how to do wellness overseas” as much as it is a letter to myself to prioritize my emotional and mental wellness while living abroad.
Rest and Reflection
Reading, listening, and writing are like watering the roots of my soul. I feel unhinged when I haven’t stopped in the day to find myself. When I am running around I tend to lose touch with my life source. For me, reading something encouraging, listening to some good music, and writing a few lines, brings ME back into focus. It is important for me to ask myself, “what is most important about this day?” When I know what is important and what motivates me, I can sort through the clutter better, and spend my time on what is most important.A few books that have really encouraged me to settle into my overseas life and find its rhythms are Run with the Horses: The Quest for Life at Its Best" by Eugene H. Peterson, Gift from the Sea by Anne Morrow Lindberghand, and Present-Over-Perfect by Shauna Niequist.
Don't Lose Connection
I am an introvert and of course I am convinced that I can solve all of my problems with just a few more minutes by myself, to do all this reflecting. I dream of vacations with quiet beaches, a stack of books and margaritas. I guess my sweet baby and husband could be there playing in the distant waves but all I can hear are their voices chiming in the wind.
All this to say—sometimes when I am feeling down the LAST thing I want is to see a friend. But consistently I find that when I am down, friends are the perfect medicine, even for my little introverted heart. Listening and being alone with myself is great but talking and feeling part of a community are so necessary. Sharing and conversation are a critical part of the process. I have a girl’s group that gets together every week and it is a lifeline to me in my host country. There are usually not any earth-shattering revelations from our time together, except that these women have the same joys and struggles that I have, and it is good to share stories, tears, and laughs. Date nights with my husband—especially since we have become parents—are also key for us to be able to do the same kind of sharing together.
Keeping the Wonder
My husband and I are a bad combination when it comes to booking vacations. He has no time to leave the business for a vacation and I hate to spend the money so we just stay home weekend-after-weekend. Every time we do a long stretch without an adventure, I am reminded the moment I board the plane or get in the car of why I need a break.
Of course, I feel like I need a break from the lack of water, power outages, and general everyday frustrations. I am desperate for a shower with good pressure and food that I didn’t have to cook myself. But mostly I need to be reminded of beauty—since our dust-bowl road does little to inspire me.
Obviously, vacations and adventures are such a luxury that most of the world has no concept of them. But we can still seek adventure and beauty in the everyday. I find that taking pictures helps me to notice what is around me. Walks around the neighborhood—even on those dusty roads—are a breath of fresh air. A drive through the countryside helps me to see the bigger picture. Sunsets are actually the same from my rooftop in Ethiopia as they are from a seaside balcony—the only difference is my attitude and perspective.
Know Your Limits
“Boundaries” is a dirty little word that we all talk about as being important, but few of us are actually able to implement. Boundaries are especially hard if you are serving people in any capacity overseas. There is so much need and it seems selfish to even think about yourself and your boundaries when people are sick and hungry right outside your front door. But if you don’t have boundaries, you won’t survive long.
All our limits and boundaries are different. Maybe your home is your oasis, evenings are for family or mornings are for you. For me my home is my oasis. At first it felt so wrong to have a comfortable home when there were people living in shacks on the same street. I soon found that I needed to have my creature-comforts around me to be prepared to go out in the world. Figure out what you need and set boundaries that will help you be a healthier and more whole version of yourself.
Ask for Help
I am a hard person to help. I like to do it all by myself and I imagine that if you are living overseas you are probably a more independent spirit to begin with. But we need to know when we need help, whether it is help with the kids or help from a counselor.
Asking for help might be really hard or almost impossible if you are in a role helping and serving other people. I find that pride is the biggest deterrent from me asking for the help I need. It is hard to acknowledge that I am not strong enough, or that I am disappointed—especially for the first-born perfectionist. I find that when I can let my pride go and humbly acknowledge my need, then I am able to ask for the help I need from my husband, family, friends, and sometimes a counselor.
Hobby Lobby
In the previous posts from this “Staying Healthy Overseas” series, I talked about exercise and diet, which are critical components for self-care. Another component of taking care of yourself while overseas is developing hobbies and passions outside of the work you are doing and taking care of kids.
Hobbies have been critical for me to find purpose during my days, to engage my mind, and to integrate into the local culture and continue to develop myself as a person. Since moving overseas I have gotten into gardening, studying Ethiopian Church history, hiking to remote ancient rock-hewn churches, experimenting with baking, tending chickens, a few minor building projects, learning the local language, sewing pillowcases, and of course lots of writing.
No “Badittude”
At the end of the day—if you are going to make it overseas for more than three months—you genuinely have to become a glass half-full kind of gal. I am not talking about faking it and suppressing all of your emotions. I am talking about actually loving the adventure you are on and looking for ways to capture the memories.You can’t let every power outage and flat tire get under your skin. You have to learn how to roll with the punches and embrace the hiccups, as a message to slow down and enjoy what is right in front of you. Your day job is to be always making lemonade from lemons. One book that really helped me look for the blessings in each moment is called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp. After reading this book during a really dark season of my life, I set to work to count my own one thousand gifts.
What are the ways that you stay emotionally and mentally while living overseas? How do you allow margin so you don't burn-out? Share here and find us on Instagram where we will be discussing it too!
