How Military Life Prepared Me for Living Abroad

We recently moved to a new city with lots of expats. I'm not used to being surrounded by English speakers at a restaurant or being approached by another American family at the local park. Here, though, it happens every day. Interestingly, nearly every family I've met is moving in or out, because there is so much summer turnover. I always ask the outgoing folks, "How was your time here? What did you enjoy most? Do you have any tips?" and the new ones, "How is the transition going for you?"

A number of people have told me the transition was a lot harder in the beginning than they thought it would be. There are many military families here, and as a group we're used to moving around a lot. Since almost everyone has relocated to new bases across the country, lots of them thought of this as a more logistically-complicated move, but still similar to previous moves. They weren't given training on family life and culture in Germany.

After recovering from the initial culture shock, though, almost everyone I've met loved living abroad.

Military families adapt to expat life quite well. Though we may not take classes on living in a new country, most of us have been through forms culture shock before (possibly many times before), even stateside.

The military is a whole new culture. It comes with its ownlanguage, written rules, and unofficial expectations. Here's how it prepared mefor living abroad:

You learn a new languagewith the military. You learn to distinguish rank from symbols on uniformsand a whole new vocabulary as people ask you questions like, "When did youPCS? Have you been to an FRG meeting yet? Who's your sponsor?" It's stillEnglish…but not.

Learning new rules.Just as in other countries, military bases have their own rules. Some are notstrictly enforced, some are. Sometimes they aren't posted; you watch othersaround you and follow what they do. After 11 years of military life, I learned anew rule yesterday by making a mistake.

Procedures and paperwork abound. As in dealing with new countries, visas, and getting all your paperwork in order, military life has procedures and paperwork for everything. Moving to a new place means visits to all sorts of offices and handing in all kinds of paperwork, often waiting in line to do so, or finding out that…

…Offices and businessesare closed at times that don't make sense. Sure, their hours are listed atM-F, 900-1600, but they are also closed every third Thursday of the month at 1400.And during lunchtime.

The future isuncertain until you arrive. You've been told you're moving and where, but you'rewaiting on orders or a signature until it's official. Even then, things couldchange. Many expats say, "We are planning to move to _______ this summer,but we don't know for sure yet," or "We plan to make a home visitnext July, but we aren't sure how long or when exactly, so we can't make firmplans." Military families know this type of uncertainty well.

Making friends who leave. We all are familiar with this one. We rely on others show us the ropes of our new area because they've also been new and understand the difficulties. But when the first people you meet are non-locals (whether abroad or not), community can feel shaky. Make friends anyway.

You are not incontrol. In the military, you get a semblance of choice sometimes, but youaren't under any illusion you choose where you go or how long you stay. Forexpats, it's similar: Your company, your organization, your agency, your schoolchooses and makes decisions about location and timeline for you. You might geta say, or you might not.

The transition takes up all your time on the front and back end.Moving frequently can lull you into thinking you know what you're doing, you've got a system down, and you don't need to give the transition all your time or attention. Then it's upon you, and you realize that it ALWAYS takes more time than you planned. Seasoned expats and experienced military families both get caught up in this one.

You learn not tojudge yourself by how someone else does "this" life. Whethermilitary or expat life (or both!), everyone has different priorities andsituations. You may find someone you think has it all together, but the longeryou spend with them, you realize they focus their time and energy differentlythan you do. One friend is fluent in the local language but her work pays forintensive daily lessons. A neighbor couple knows your city inside and out, but haveset weekends aside to explore it. You admire a friend who is completelycomfortable with the language, cuisine, and tradition, but you find out hergrandmother was from the host country. Everyone works with special skills andin unique situations, even while living in the same place.

Having had with a foot in both worlds (we are now on our third time overseas), I am grateful for the way military life frequently took me outside my comfort zone and forced me to get used to new routines, new schedules, and new expectations, because it prepared me well for living this expat life. Though this transition is harder now than I'd expected, I'm certain that I'll soon be telling a family moving in that living here is worth it.

What life experiences and background prepared you for being overseas?