Holding Plans with Open Hands
While living in Southeast Asia, I grew to expect change. The revolving door of people was my most common change -- and often, one of the more personal ones. I had numerous roommates, ranging from one who became my best friend to one who was from a different continent, language, and religious belief. On top of that, there were also changes on my team with new people coming and going in a short span of time. And, even though the school I taught at was small, we never had the same exact families enrolled for the following school year. Change seemed to be the only constant thing in my life overseas and, because of this, I still struggle today to make plans in advance -- wondering whether or not those plans will actually happen.
Generally, in the States, plans are a little more concrete and trustworthy. Life seems to be a little more predictable and routines and schedules are preferred. But changing plans are still not avoidable.
My husband and I are currently in the States to strengthen our new marriage and prepare to return to Asia as a couple. We were planning on spending four months with my family, four months with his family, followed by a training in preparation to move overseas. Then, we'd be off to Asia!
Enter my old friend: CHANGE.
We recently found out that we are (surprise!) pregnant. While a baby wasn’t necessarily in our plans quite yet, we are very excited and we can see the benefits of this timing. I’m thankful to have my whole first pregnancy experience in my home country, with the added bonus of both our families being able to meet the baby before we leave. These are blessings I didn’t know I'd appreciate so much, had all of our children been born overseas.
It took me a while to get to this point of thankfulness. I am thrilled for a baby, but when I realized that Baby’s due date meant changing our schedule, which resulted in less time with my family, I was disappointed, surprised, and frustrated. I had it in my head that these kinds of changes only happened overseas, not in my home country where schedules are held to more tightly. And then there was the added stress of having to pack up and transition out of that space in less time.
While it's tempting (and easier) to dwell on what I feel I've lost, I've learned a better way to navigate a change of plans -- having an attitude of thankfulness.
I’m thankful for the gift of new life. I’m thankful that I’m part of a company that wants to train and prepare us to thrive (not just survive) overseas. I’m thankful for an apartment where we can leave our stuff for a couple weeks, instead of loading it all into our car (again). I’m thankful for quick flights, so we don’t have to use another two weeks of our time driving across the country (again). I’m thankful for a family who is supportive of this calling on our lives, even though it means long stretches of time away from one another. I’m thankful for modern technology that makes communication easier during those seasons when we're apart. And I’m thankful for communities like this one, with people who understand everything I’m going through.
While change seems to be the only constant in my life, these are the things I’m learning in this season:
1. I must hold plans loosely, even in the States.
2. When my plans change (and they will), it’s important to remember to count my blessings and be thankful.
3. I need to make the most of the time I've been given.
How do you handle changed plans? How do you combat the negativity that wants to creep in? How have you seen an attitude of thankfulness change your perspective?