Family & TCKs — Taking Route

My husband and I celebrated our wedding ceremony in the Dominican Republic, where I am from. Several hours later, we jumped on an airplane that would take us to Florida.

Wait, what? Isn’t the DR the perfect place to honeymoon? It is, it is. But, we were getting married through the fiancé visa, and the marriage license had to be signed in the States for us to be legally married. So, we arrived in Florida and spent our wedding night in separate bedrooms because my dad had been clear we couldn’t live together until the license was signed. (Don’t say it—I know what you are thinking).

Current Collection, Family & TCKsAylin MerckApril 17, 2023Comment

Permission to Pivot

I really wanted to hate it. And in an embarrassing admission of my own pride, I wanted my kids to hate it too.

When we finished the tour of the school that day, I didn’t hate it, and neither did my kids. In fact, we loved it. We all agreed it was our next right choice.

Sending my kids to international school was not on my radar. We started out our expat adventure in a corner of the world where homeschooling was our only viable option, and because we loved it, I assumed we would never entertain another route. Then, as people like us do, we moved. We found ourselves in a place with more options and in a season of our kids having different needs.

Current Collection, Family & TCKsGuest WriterApril 17, 2023Comment

Five Reassurances from a Grown-Up TCK

Family & TCKsCaroline SwartzJanuary 16, 2023Comment

10 Things Expats Want Their Friends and Family to Know

In the expat community, we are familiar with Sarah Turnball’s quote, “It is a bitter-sweet thing, knowing two cultures. Once you leave your birthplace nothing is ever the same.'' After moving to another culture, there is no returning to the former self. You become a different person than you were before stepping on the plane.

But for our loved ones who have never lived outside their passport country, there is another popular saying: You don’t know what you don’t know. There is zero possible way for our friends and families to understand the complexities of how we changed, and who we are becoming as we grow into our new life as an expat without clear communication. We must be willing to share with them honestly.

Family & TCKs, Building CommunityDenise JamesJanuary 16, 2023 Comments

Couches on Helicopters: Supporting Families Living Abroad

Family & TCKs, Mental HealthGuest WriterOctober 14, 2022Comment

Am I Doing Enough: Expat Motherhood and Ministry with Littles

A question was brought up on our Instagram page a few months ago; A young mother asked how to have an “active” ministry with a two-year-old and a four-year-old. This question brought up a lot of memories and past emotions.

My third child turned 13 last week. She was my first overseas baby born during my language school year. I think back to that first year pregnant, with two children ages one and two, and it’s all a little foggy. We went to add the fourth kid a year and half after the third. My days were filled with meal preparation, bath time, and feelings of failure. I had so many hopes, dreams, and aspirations for what life would look like as a third culture family with purpose. I barely make it out of the door of our home, let alone out of the neighborhood.

Family & TCKsDenise JamesOctober 14, 2022Comment

The Land of Many Mothers

Family & TCKsTaylor MayMay 8, 2022motherhood, mothering abroad, raising tcks, mother's day, TCK life, TCK, TCKsComment

Expat Paperwork Fallout

Family & TCKsRosalie DuryeeFebruary 11, 2022stress, paperwork, marriageComment

4 Ways That Having a Baby is Like Moving Overseas

ears of desire and prep and waiting for the right timing.

You research, seek advice, and connect with those who have gone before you.

Then that huge shift…and you realize that no amount of groundwork or education could have adequately prepared you for what you’re currently experiencing.

Am I talking about bringing home a baby or moving overseas? Both.

My husband and I just brought home our first baby. As I was feeding her last night, I realized that life with her has a lot of similarities to moving to a foreign place. Here are a few of them:

Family & TCKs, Moving AbroadMallory BrooksAugust 5, 2020baby, having a baby overseas, preparing to move, moving overseasComment

The Global Cultural Practice of “Colorism”

I remember standing on my balcony in Cambodia when I was younger, the streets bustling with life below, and watching the sunset take over the sky with such theatrical colors of warm pinks, peaches and gold. It was so brilliant. Too brilliant, perhaps.

In the USA, people like to bask in that brilliance, you know? Get a nice, golden tan. Where I grew up, people shielded themselves from that same brilliance (well, those who could afford to). The Cambodian sun is hot, brutal, and unforgiving.

How One Mom Helped Her Struggling TCK

I remember holding my kindergarten class picture while snuggling with my mom one night at bedtime. She pointed at each face and asked me to tell her something about that kid. Was he kind or funny? Was that girl a good friend? We still have inside jokes that came out of that conversation, like the classmate I said was nice, "but…he farts." We've laughed a lot about that description over the years. We certainly did that night.

Looking back, I realize she had so much to do in the evenings—she was a full-time working mother with a husband and two kids. But I never felt that she was looking at the clock. She had time for me. She wanted to know what's going on in my world, and what I thought about it.

Confessions of a TCK's Well-Traveled Passport

When I was in college, I lost my passport.

At the time, I studying in the States and my parents were living in Kenya and I was scheduled to fly there for Christmas a few short weeks later. Honestly, looking back now, my parents were way too nice about this, and we got an expedited new one that arrived in time for me to still be able to go. I probably was not as stressed as I should have been about getting the replacement (nor felt as guilty as I should have about losing it in the first place), but I did feel the loss of that passport – the actual object itself – deeply.

Family & TCKsCaroline SwartzMay 29, 2020adult TCK, third culture kids, TCKsComment

Expat Life is a Pair of Ducks

When I initially went overseas, I committed to one year and was sent as an intern with my company. By the end of my third year, I had committed to staying in my role long term and finally had the time to attend a training for people preparing to move overseas in Colorado during the summer of 2015. It was there that I first learned about “yay ducks” and the “yuck ducks.”

The trainers brought out two rubber ducks. (If you say, “pair of ducks” quickly, it kind of sounds like “paradox.”) The Yay Duck represented all the good and exciting parts of moving overseas. The Yuck Duck had some bruises and band-aids and represented all of the not-so-good parts of moving overseas. This was a new way to describe some of the feelings I was experiencing, as I looked ahead to making a major life transition.

Family & TCKs, Current Collection, Moving AbroadMallory BrooksJanuary 31, 2020expat life, transition, grief and joy, movingComment

Episode 29: Finding Your Place as a Trailing Spouse with Tawni Sattler

Married or single, it’s likely you have struggled at some point with finding joy and purpose in the tasks expected of you in your life abroad. In Tawnie’s experience of becoming a “trailing spouse”-the spouse who isn’t working full-time- those expectations can be challenging and isolating. In this episode, she shares vulnerably about leaving her career in the states behind, and her journey to find her own passion and purpose while living overseas. Tawnie reminds us that finding outlets outside of ministry and work that align with our talents and passions can help prevent burnout and lead to a more fulfilling life.

Family & TCKs, PodcastTaking Route EditorsDecember 26, 2019trailing spouse, transition, parenting abroad, Europe, podcast, Taking Route PodcastComment

Home: A Tck’s Perspective

You see, I started college absolutely convinced I would be returning overseas after I graduated. I just could not picture what it would look like to live in America long term. It felt so foreign to me – whereas being foreign was what was comfortable. I knew how to handle being obviously "other" and to skate across the mix of cultures growing up overseas involves. But I didn’t know how to handle it when I looked

Family & TCKsCaroline SwartzAugust 23, 2019Africa, TCK, adult TCKComment